The truth is that I had no expectations of what I would learn while backpacking through the states. I thought, truthfully, that I would learn more about myself in Asia or India. I cannot say that I would learn anything from backpacking there. I can say, though, that I learned so much about myself as a human being this time around.
I fell in love with myself on this trip. I learned that I have the power to be the man that I want to be. That it has taken me 10 years to find that man, again. I missed him so much and I knew I could do it. That is why 10 years ago I started fresh. I didn’t like the man I had become. I was not a bad person. I just wasn’t myself. I forgot what it was like to love myself because I got caught up in what society said was important.
Through backpacking, a metaphor of life, not knowing where you will end up. But realizing it is the journey that counts and not the finial destination. For, when on the road, I had my nights not knowing where I would sleep. Sometimes it was in a trainstation, a bus, a hostel. There was even one time I thought I would have to hitchhike home for I was out of money. It is through believing and trusting myself. Believing in myself and the kindness of others, strangers, who became friends who will always have a place in my heart. The connections that are made, the offers of if you are ever in my town you have a place to stay. I realize more and more that we are all connected and that life is about those connections. A beautiful spirit once told me god exists in all of us. And it is that connection that we have with each other that is god.
I have had so many wonderful insights into people. Their ideas, their hopes and their dreams. I love hearing people’s ideas and dreams. I love to be their for people when they need a shoulder. I live making this world a better place. Thr answer is simple in my mind. The answer is love, maybe a little preachy, but I will continue to convey that message for all who will listen. How I will deliver that message I do not know. How I will reach as many people as possible I do not know. Will people listen, I do not know. But that at this moment is what I am set to do. The journey has only begun.
I must try. It has hit me over and over again. It is ok to be afraid, it is ok to be nervous, it is ok to have a dream but it is not ok to not try.
You must loose something first before gaining something, nothing in this universe comes from nothing.